Self reflection

Confession time

My own practice isn’t where I want it to be.  Does this mean that I’m doing my students a disservice?

I know I’m going to look back and it’ll be hard to remember this time.  I’m a new teacher and it has many positives and some negatives too. Ultimately it all feels right and I’m loving the path that I’m taking and the people that are sharing it with me.  However, there is one area that I’m struggling with right now, my own practice. I think it was one of my first few training modules that covered this. We were warned to keep our self practice very separate from our teaching practice.  Don’t mix the two, we were told. Right now, this is so hard. I’m still able to practice but not like before. It doesn’t seem 100% for me any more. My mind is often on my students, how I can give them the best I can offer, to share as much as possible of this wonderful part of my life.  My teaching is always about my students, which I believe is how it should be but I also need to reserve some of me and it is this that I’m going to have to master some time soon. I have plans. I’ll share them with you soon. In the meantime, I remind myself that yoga is a practice, it is not perfection.  I have also found it really useful to refer to the second limb of yoga, the Niyamas.  

Niyama (observances)

  • Saucha (cleanliness)
    • Looking at this as cleanliness or clarity of the mind, I’m exploring and will continue to explore what is happening to find clarity. 
  • Santosha (contentment)
    • My favourite Niyama.  Whilst I’m aware that a change is needed, it is not urgent and I’m more than OK with where I am right now, whilst still striving for improvement.    
  • Tapas (austerity/discipline)
    • Ah discipline! I have started practicing more discipline, which in turn is helping me to take control of my practice.     
  • Svadhyaya (self-study)
    • My meditation is an excellent way to self study, as is my time on the mat. I’m making an effort to make this time more about me than my teaching.  
  • Ishvara Pranidhana (devotion to a higher power)     
    • I will continue to devote my actions to the best version of myself.              

And if you’re wondering what other negatives there are of me being a new teacher, I don’t know many of the sanskrit names but I don’t lose sleep over this.  I also don’t always know my left from right and on occasion my ups and downs but we smile and move on in class. 

To be continued…